


Hid The Morning From The Stars

by baeconandeggs, honey_peach



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Drama, Fluff, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-02-28 04:46:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18749305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeconandeggs/pseuds/baeconandeggs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/honey_peach/pseuds/honey_peach
Summary: Chanyeol and Baekhyun have been best friends forever. Baekhyun has also been in love with Chanyeol forever. But always and forever may not mean what he thought it would.





	Hid The Morning From The Stars

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:** BAE1416  
>  **Disclaimer: baeconandeggs/the mods is/are not the author/s of this story. Authors will be credited and tagged after reveals.** The celebrities' names/images are merely borrowed and do not represent who the celebrities are in real life. No offense is intended towards them, their families or friends. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this fictional work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
>   
> 
> **Author's Note:** This may not what the prompter was expecting but my fics pretty much write themselves, let's be honest. Also I plan on adding to this so don't get your pitchforks out just yet. I hope you enjoy the one shot.

Baekhyun’s brow furrows in concentration as he stares at the letters on the keyboard like they’re going to tell him what to type. Lord knows he could use the help. They don’t, so he opts for staring at the letters on screen instead.

 

“Excited to go out tonight?” Kyungsoo startles him, making him look up from his laptop.

 

Baekhyun hadn't even heard his roommate come in, it's fortunate he wasn't a serial killer or anything of the sort. Baekhyun would be ancient history. The kind of ancient history that was currently kicking his ass.

 

“Yeah. I'm kind of stressed from this.” Baekhyun frowns and stands up to stretch. He's been slaving over this essay for almost a week, tonight will be a welcomed break for his poor brain. He’s gotten to the point where he dreams about finally finishing it.

 

Kyungsoo nods, putting down a plastic bag on his desk which Baekhyun eyes.

 

“And because you get to see a certain someone who's back from the away game?” Kyungsoo wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. Leave it to Kyungsoo to not waste any opportunity for bringing up the other senior.

 

“You're one to talk, like a whole Kim Jongin isn't rolling in along with him.”  Baekhyun pipes back.

 

Kyungsoo snorts. “At least Kim Jongin and I had the guts to admit our undying love for each other. Meanwhile, you two cowards-”

 

“Enough of this, let me get a cookie.” Baekhyun waddles over in his sweats to the bag Kyungsoo brought in and is pleased when Kyungsoo does, indeed, pull out cookies as he predicted.

 

Kyungsoo sighs. “Tell him tonight then, you'll never have to hear this from me again.” 

 

“But I love listening to your lectures, Soo.” Baekhyun breaks the cookie apart and licks at the lemon cream in the middle.

 

“I'm serious, I don't like how you've just been pining since the dawn of time. And nothing is going to come of it if one of you doesn't  _ do _ something.” Kyungsoo really only has his best interest in mind, he knows. But it's not easy to just tell your best childhood friend that you're actually in love with him. And have been since you were in middle school. 

 

“I'll think about it.” Baekhyun hums out quietly. He thinks about it every day as it is.

 

Kyungsoo is giving him a look of disapproval that could rival even his mother's. 

 

“It's a huge step Soo, come on.” Baekhyun whines, defensively. “What if he rejects me? That would surely ruin the friendship and then I'll be boyfriendless and friendless as well.”

 

“Wow, nice to know I don't exist.” Kyungsoo doesn’t even have the decency to look a little offended though.

 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, “You know what I mean.” He takes a deep breath, “I'm scared of...the possibilities. I don't wanna get my heart stomped on. If he says he doesn't feel the same, I don’t know, I think I might ruin everything by opening my big mouth.”

 

“Aww Baek.” Kyungsoo wraps an arm around him, the cashmere of his sweater tickling his cheek, “I know it's scary but you never know what could happen. Answer this, would you ever stop waiting for him? Forget about him and go after another guy?”

 

Baekhyun doesn't even have to ponder this. The answer is no. “I wouldn't.”, He answers, a bit shameful.

 

“Then you have to do something. We graduate this week and after that he'll be doing whatever it is that jocks with business degrees do after university.” 

 

“I know.” Baekhyun tries to ignore the thought that resurfaces from the back of his mind every so often. He's going to miss his opportunity and end up alone forever, always regretting. Probably bitter for the rest of his life.

 

“You knowing I'm right is what you mean, right?” Kyungsoo pulls back from the hug to look Baekhyun in the eyes.

 

He nods timidly. “You are right, I’ll approach the subject.”

 

“Approach the subject?” Kyungsoo gives him a look to let him know he’s actually the biggest coward on earth. It works.

 

“Okay, fine, I’m telling him. Tonight.” Baekhyun feels like he’ll back out if he thinks too much about it so he decides to go back to slaving over editing his paper. 

 

~

 

_ The wind was rough that day, the kind that made you frustrated you couldn’t pick a fight with the invisible force because it kept flipping your umbrella inside out exposing you to the rainfall.  _

 

_ Yes, Baekhyun wished he could pick a fight with the wind. He wished he could show it that just because he was short, didn’t mean he should be messed with. He knew he was being silly, but still, the feeling was there. His middle schooler brain wouldn't let him get over the grudge against nature. _

 

_ He just wanted to make it home to his warm bed, to his family and his puppy. He finally gave up on the battered umbrella, closing it with a sigh of defeat. _

 

_ “Here.” The voice came from over his shoulder along with a shadow being casted over him. There was a stranger standing there behind him, holding another umbrella over him then. _

 

_ Baekhyun blinked a couple times in disbelief. It was a kid he didn’t think he’d really ever cross paths with despite the fact that they were wearing the same uniform. Baekhyun, a scholarship kid, should be well aware of these things so he made an effort to be in the know. The kid holding an umbrella for him was definitely Park Chanyeol.  _

 

_ And he wasn’t all knowing, but he was pretty sure that Park Chanyeol had no reason to be holding an umbrella for him. Unless it was a part of some odd prank. He immediately grew wary of the situation, stepping out from the cover he was being provided. _

 

_ “What are you doing?”  Chanyeol advanced with the object again, keeping it steady over Baekhyun’s head. _

 

_ “What are  _ you _ doing?” Baekhyun rebutted, looking around to see if there were any other kids waiting for Chanyeol’s prank to pay off. He didn’t see anyone suspicious. Just people in a rush to avoid the gross, cold rain. _

 

_ “Your backpack is going to get soaked and then your papers will get wet.” Chanyeol said, as if that really answered the question, “Let’s go, I’m walking you home.” _

 

_ Baekhyun stood frozen in shock and confusion. Why had Chanyeol even approached him in the first place? They really, really, had no reason to talk. Or...do whatever was happening with the umbrella. _

 

_ “I...is there something you need from me or...is there something I did to you?” Baekhyun didn't think he'd start groveling that quickly but it was the first thing he thought to say. _

 

_ Chanyeol looked at him scrutinizingly. “Do people bother you a lot?” _

 

_ Baekhyun couldn't think of any coherent words for a moment, caught up in how bizarre it was. “Umm, no, not really. But why do you care?” _

 

_ “Of course I should care about whether people bother a friend of mine or not.” Chanyeol said everything as if it was supposed to make perfect sense to Baekhyun. _

 

_ “But we're not friends.” Baekhyun said meekly. Maybe he shouldn't challenge Chanyeol. _

 

_ “We're not?” Chanyeol looked at him with genuine question in his eyes.  _

 

_ Baekhyun didn't know what to think or say. So he simply went along with it. “We...can be friends.”  _

 

_ Chanyeol had a twinkle in his eye at Baekhyun’s answer, beginning the walk in the direction of Baekhyun’s house. “Let's go then.” _

 

_ That was how he and Chanyeol officially met. The start of their friendship. The start of everything. _

 

~

 

Kyungsoo had texted a couple minutes ago asking if he was ready. He'd also mentions that Baekhyun didn't need to look  _ that hot _ for Chanyeol but Baekhyun kindly ignores that message.

 

He looks at his finished look in the mirror. He'd tried not to make it obvious he'd put effort into the outfit. Simple is sexy. At least he hopes so.

 

Black leather pants that hug his hips are definitely sexy though, so he's glad he thought to put them to use. 

 

The atmosphere is so light when he walks in he feels an instant boost in his mood. And maybe it has something to do with the fact that he knows Chanyeol is here. Facetiming can only do so much before you need the real thing again. He's such a weakling, yearning for his best friend's attention after only a week’s separation. The team had an away game and then spent the rest of the week away celebrating their win.

 

Yes, just a week. But it was days without Chanyeol having lunch with him, walking to classes with him, hanging out with him and everything else in between. They do almost everything together. So much that Baekhyun has, more than once, had to  _ begrudgingly _ confirm he and Chanyeol are not actually dating to some hopeful suitor with hearts in their eyes for  _ his _ Chanyeol.

 

When, all those years ago, Chanyeol had proudly declared to Baekhyun that he was his “little buddy to protect”, Baekhyun had subconsciously decided something as well. That Chanyeol was also his, not his anything in particular. Just  _ his _ , and he always will be. He doesn't know how to describe it, put it into words, and he doesn't want to short circuit his brain trying to either. He's a little afraid to even dive into that.

 

Here he is, planning to spill his guts to  _ his _ Chanyeol about some true love fantasy yet he's too much of a coward to even think about what all of his feelings mean to himself first. 

 

The music is vibrating through the floor of the off-campus house and the place is nearly packed. Baekhyun wants to find him soon because he knows it won't take long for this atmosphere to turn stuffy and uncomfortable.

 

He sees Junmyeon, sitting on Sehun’s lap in the corner of the living room, and knows Chanyeol can't be far.

 

Junmyeon spots him before he has to try and fail to get the couple’s attention by attempting to yell over the blaring bass. He gives a crinkly eyed smile and Baekhyun weaves his way in between people to make it over to them. 

 

“I’m here, what did I miss?” Baekhyun leans down so he can hear whatever it is Junmyeon is about to share.

 

“Nothing, just Junmyeon loving me.” Sehun unhelpfully lets it be known. 

 

“Hush,” Junmyeon chides with rose dusted cheeks. Baekhyun wants what they have, even if he's not worthy. He's selfish like that, always has been. “Kyungsoo is in there.”, He pats Baekhyun’s butt and sends him on his way, into the kitchen.

 

“Thanks, I'll catch up with you guys later.” Baekhyun waves.

 

It's quieter in the kitchen than the rest of the house so far and Baekhyun is immediately greeted by a yelling Jongin.

 

““I know that! I'm just saying  _ if _ , it's purely hypothetical. You might need one someday too. So what if i bought 50? I can pass them around. I might get some more.” 

 

“What's he done this time?” Baekhyun questions, gaining all the attention fairly quickly.

 

“Pepper spray.” Johnny says and takes a sip of his beer.

 

“Huh?” Baekhyun sneaks a look around and there are plenty of kids from the team but he doesn't see Chanyeol anywhere.

 

“He accidentally bought fifty bottles of pepper spray online when he was trying to buy five for Kyungsoo to keep in different locations.” Jaehyun explains with an absolutely giddy look. For once he's not the idiot of the hour. 

 

Jongin rolls his eyes, “Doesn't matter, they can still be used. That's why I have them in my car now, I'm gonna hand them out to the girls here. And some of the small dudes like Baekhyun.”

 

“So that means we're definitely seeing someone get pepper sprayed tonight, nice.” Johnny nods in approval.

 

“Okay, enough talk about Jongin, as much as he's enjoying it, let's talk about your win!” Kyungsoo ruffles Jongin's hair and the guys around them cheer.

 

“The master of basket shooting, the one and only Park Chanyeol secured the win.” Yuta starts making an imitation of a crowd cheering and everyone bursts into laughter.

 

“Where is he?” Baekhyun finds the courage to ask. He shouldn't have needed courage, it's totally normal of him to ask but he's honestly psyching himself out. No one knows what he's thinking and what he plans to say to Chanyeol.

 

Baekhyun only has to wait a while before Chanyeol comes in, grinning ear to ear like the beacon of happiness that he is. Baekhyun walks up to him slowly because his nerves are still rattling every part of his body. But then Chanyeol spots him and scoops him up into a bear hug topping it off with a kiss on Baekhyun’s cheek because Chanyeol is just wildly affectionate like that. 

 

Baekhyun heats up like he always does and Chanyeol begins to rattle on about the away game. How much fun it was to travel and how he's the one that scored the winning three pointer shot. Baekhyun can't hold back the huge smile while watching Chanyeol talk with so much joy.

 

“And how have  _ you _ been?” He asks Baekhyun. “Anything interesting happen while I was gone?” They're standing in their own little corner of the kitchen giving them a bit of privacy.

 

Besides Baekhyun coming to terms with the fact that he needs to confess to Chanyeol  _ or else _ , there was nothing. He shrugs a shoulder. “Nah. Same old; same old. There is something I wanted to talk about though.” He can't believe he's actually about to do it.

 

“Oh, what is it?” Chanyeol leans in subtly. There are so many subtle things about him for such a big, boisterous person. Baekhyun almost wonders if there are things that he and  _ he alone _ notices about his best friend. He hopes it's true, an unlimited number of special little things for just the two of them to be connected by.

 

Baekhyun takes a deep breath, “I-” 

 

“Hey, do you want some of the pepper spray?” Jongin pops up next to him.

 

“Uh, no thank you, I’m-” Baekhyun is interrupted again.

 

This time it's Chanyeol, “What are you talking about?”

 

“I bought...a little too much pepper spray for Kyungsoo so I’m giving them out to the vulnerable community like our tiny Baekhyun here.”

 

Baekhyun scoffs, momentarily distracted from the fact that Jongin had ruined a would be intimate moment. “I'm not even that small.”

 

“Small enough. I'm going to get some from my car, I'll be back in a minute.”

 

“I don't need it Nini, thanks though.” Baekhyun declines.

 

“Take it.” Both Jongin and Baekhyun look at Chanyeol but Chanyeol is just looking at Baekhyun. “I can't be there all the time, it'll make me feel better.”

 

“Okay.” Baekhyun’s heart leaps at Chanyeol’s obvious concern for him.

 

“Okay, so you can come get it later, I feel like you two might...never mind, just come get it later.” Jongin retreats back into the crowd.

 

“So what were you saying earlier?” Chanyeol asks.

 

“I was wondering if we could go somewhere more private to talk?” Baekhyun suggests.

 

“That would be good, there's something I wanted to let you know too.”

 

“Chanyeol come take one.” Someone yells from near the kitchen island.

 

Chanyeol gives Baekhyun a quizzical look to which Baekhyun just shrugs. They go over to see an assortment of brightly colored drinks lined up in clear plastic cups.

 

“What is this?” Chanyeol asks.

 

“This is what i like to call the  _ sip of no regrets _ . Sehun introduces the beverage and Baekhyun has no idea when Sehun even entered the kitchen let alone started mixing drinks.

 

“Any drink with the word regret anywhere near it should be avoided.” Chanyeol says.

 

“Right, but this gets its name because you'll have none, just a good time, so bottoms up.” Sehun corrects him.

 

“Fine.” Chanyeol grabs a cup and Baekhyun reaches for one too only to be stopped by Chanyeol’s hand on his wrist. “Are you sure you can handle this? Sehun doesn't play around with his drinks.”

 

“Yes.” He needs some liquid courage and if he doesn't have to regret tomorrow whatever he does tonight then that's an added bonus. Chanyeol is right to be worried though, Baekhyun hasn't been known to hold his liquor well. “I have you with me and uhh, Nini’s pepper spray.” He smiles and Chanyeol grins back.

 

“Right...you're right, it'll be fine.” Chanyeol lets go and Baekhyun picks up a cup, tapping it into Chanyeol's for a toast.

 

“To having you around forever.” Chanyeol hasn't broken eye contact the entire conversation and Baekhyun is only now noticing. No doubt others have too but he can't be too bothered about that right now. 

 

He knows Chanyeol is just saying this as a friend but he's going to live in the moment and let his imagination do what it does best. “Together forever.” He barely tastes the alcohol and figures that Sehun is just hyping his drink up to be more than what it is.

 

“Maybe he did play around with this one” Chanyeol laughs.

 

“No, you'll see when it comes back to bite you in the ass.” Sehun warns.

 

“Right, that's what you said about the Taemin situation last week.” Chanyeol says back, finishing his drink and reaching for another one. Chanyeol puts away drinks like he puts away food.

 

“The month is still young my friend.” Sehun sighs.

 

Baekhyun raises his eyebrows in intrigue but doesn't say anything, if Chanyeol wants him to know then he'll tell him.

 

Junmyeon comes up behind Sehun and wraps his arms around his shoulders before settling in a side hug. “I'm told two of your teammates are arguing outside over a girl.”

 

“Of course they are.” Sehun rolls his eyes. “Idiots.” He takes the opportunity to lean in and give Junmyeon a kiss.

 

Not to sound extremely corny but Baekhyun really does think they are couple goals, he's green with envy.

 

“Remember in high school when those two dudes were competing for Seulgi’s attention so one of them confessed to her in a poem during lunch?” Chanyeol is cracking up just from the memory and Sehun makes a disgusted face.

 

“Please don't remind me, the cringe was out of this world.” Sehun suddenly smiles, “Then she told them both she was a lesbian so they would back off and I honestly still have no idea if my own twin sister is actually a lesbian or if she was just lying.”

 

“They're fighting!” An unknown voice yells from in the living room and Sehun bolts up.

 

“Chanyeol,” Sehun signals him with his hand.

 

“Right behind you.” Chanyeol turns to Baekhyun. “I'm sorry, we just have to break up these two drunk dummies then I'll be back and we can talk.

 

“Don't worry about me, go.” Baekhyun playfully shoves him in the direction of the living room and Chanyeol smiles before he leaves.

 

He picks up another drink and takes a sip tasting more lemon than anything. 

 

“So…” Junmyeon says, eyeing Baekhyun expectantly. Baekhyun doesn't say anything so Junmyeon sighs, “Kyungsoo told me, did you do it yet?”

 

“Oh!” Baekhyun blushes, “not yet, when he gets back.”

 

“Ahh, I'm so proud of you.” Junmyeon squeals like a little school boy, “Good luck!”

 

The last thing Baekhyun remembers is saying thank you to Junmyeon.

 

~

 

He's cold. No, just his foot is cold. He pulls it into the blanket and rolls over in the newfound warmth only to be stopped by another person next to him.

 

There shouldn't be another person unless Kyungsoo made some mistake or who's room is who's. Right and left can be tricky after a night of drinking.

 

He opens his eyes and is relieved to see that it's just Chanyeol until he realizes that it's Chanyeol. In his bed with him. Why is he in bed with him? 

 

Baekhyun goes into panic mode immediately because he has no idea why he's in the current predicament. He doesn't remember how they ended up like this. They're not in his room either but still in the off campus house in a room upstairs.

 

He hold his breath and looks at Chanyeol’s side profile, watches him inhale and exhale slowly just to be sure that he's still asleep. He's shirtless and by the way the sheet is draped over his lower half, he's definitely bottomless as well.

 

He slowly sits up and the soreness he's experiencing down below let's itself be known. He stops and he's not sure if his heart sinks or jumps. A sore ass and both he and his best friend naked in bed together only means one thing. He looks on the nightstand and the condom wrapper cements his theory.

 

Baekhyun isn't ready to face everything that could come with this. He knows Chanyeol better than anybody so he knows that he's going to blame himself for everything. Not to mention the fact that there probably aren't even any feelings involved on Chanyeol's end. He'll see it as him getting drunk and taking advantage of Baekhyun.  

 

And what is Baekhyun supposed to say? That even if he and Chanyeol were both sober he would've done it anyway? The only thing he would've wanted to be different is having the privilege of being able to remember every detail the next day. 

 

That's not something he can tell Chanyeol so he won't say anything at all.

 

He sees this as his opportunity to slip out of the room since Chanyeol is a heavy sleeper and he takes it. He slips out of bed and grabbing his pants and a shirt he's never seen before in his life and walking as quietly as possible to the door.

 

He can't help but take a look back at the scene he's leaving, Chanyeol sleeping soundly with his bed head and cheek squished against the pillow, lashes resting on his cheeks. He doesn't deserve to stay so he leaves.

 

~

 

The days after are torturous. He's never in his life avoided Chanyeol. Would've never even dreamed of doing such a thing. Now he has to plan out his day to make sure he's never where his best friend is. He doesn't know if Chanyeol remembers or knows what happened but he was most likely able to put the pieces together. He's probably feeling regret over what happened, maybe even grossed out that it was Baekhyun of all people, someone who he definitely doesn't view in that sort of light.

 

But Baekhyun won't know because he doesn't plan on ever having that conversation. He feels trapped, like saying anything will only lead to something bad. 

 

On day four he decides he simply can't face Chanyeol alone so he'll have Kyungsoo come with him. There's another party, more like a small get together, the night before graduation and he can't skip out because it's hosted by Junmyeon. 

 

On the way to the door of Sehun’s apartment Kyungsoo unhelpfully points out how he's shaking like leaf and he denies it but also makes and effort to control it.

 

Everyone from their friend group is there and Baekhyun spots Chanyeol immediately, sitting on the arm a brown leather chair talking to Jongin excitedly about something. When he turns in Baekhyun’s direction though that expression changes. He's waiting for Baekhyun to come over and explain himself. All the ignored calls and texts, all the lame excuses for why he couldn't meet him this week.

 

He deserves some sort of explanation from Baekhyun even if it is a lie. 

 

He means to walk over to Chanyeol, he really does, but his feet just won't carry him and Chanyeol is faster about these things so he’s standing in front of him in seconds.

 

“Hey.” Chanyeol is obviously hesitant. “I wanted to talk with you about something important.”

 

Baekhyun takes a breath to steel himself for the inevitable. “What is it?”

 

“Well, you know how my father has been pushing to secure me the position at the Busan branch? My uncle finally stopped fighting him on it so I’m officially in.” Chanyeol looks at him, waiting for some sort of reaction.

 

Baekhyun is dealing with a couple different emotions. He's mostly stunned with the realization that Chanyeol doesn't remember anything about that night and he's also being faced with this new situation that comes with all its own issues.

 

“So, you're leaving, all the way down there then.” It's not a question Because Baekhyun knows there's no option for Chanyeol besides the path his father has already laid out for him.

 

“Are you upset? It's only temporary, I’ll be back in Seoul after a couple months, it's just to get my feet wet, get me acquainted with the business.” Chanyeol explains it away, like those hundreds of miles won't change anything.

 

“No, I’m not upset. I could never be upset with you. This is a good thing.” Baekhyun thinks twice before doing it but he thinks he'll allow himself at least this, he reaches up and places a hand on Chanyeol's cheek, Chanyeol leans into it like a little puppy.

 

“Good, I was worried I'd upset you with this, I know it's kind of sudden.” Chanyeol says. “I was trying to tell you for a couple days now but you weren't answering my messages.”

 

“My phone was acting weird, sorry.” He lies. “When do you leave?” Baekhyun is almost afraid to ask.

 

“He wants me back home right after the graduation ceremony then on a flight the next day.” Chanyeol looks remorseful. “Baekhyun I know you're saying you're totally fine but I can tell when something is bothering you.”

 

Baekhyun isn't going to let his attitude dampen Chanyeol's mood. “No, it's my own fault for not realizing that it couldn't be real.”

 

Chanyeol is looking at him in a way he's never seen before, “What are you talking about?”

 

“I mean us always being together, it wasn't reality. We’d have to seperate sometime.” Baekhyun lies again, because that's what he does when he doesn't want to make things messy or inconvenience anyone.

 

Chanyeol seems satisfied with the explanation. “I just always want us to always be close and no distance is ever going to change that. You'll always be my best friend, whether i'm across the country or in another country, it doesn't matter.”

 

Baekhyun will always just be his best friend because they can't have anything more, he understands that now and he knows he needs to let Chanyeol go peacefully, let him pursue his future, live his life. And Baekhyun needs to live his life too, not to spend all his time thinking about something that's never going to happen and never was going to happen.

 

Chanyeol wraps his arms around him as if sensing that Baekhyun needs it right now and Baekhyun had half a mind to tell Chanyeol to let go because the touch burns, he doesn't want to feel what he can't have.

 

But then Chanyeol pulls back to look at him again. “Hey, don't think about anything sad, let's just enjoy this last night. And I'll be back to visit, there's no reason to think of this as the end. We can survive anything.”

 

“You're right.” Baekhyun closes his eyes and takes a deep breath resting his head on Chanyeol's chest. He has to think of it as the end of an era though. The era where he thought he and Chanyeol could be something more. 

 

~

 

Graduation is not how he imagined it. They go through all the motions but he and Chanyeol aren't able to see each other much because their names, and therefore seats, are so far apart. After the ceremony they only have a few moments before Chanyeol has to leave to go back to their hometown. 

 

Baekhyun has just exited the building and Is in a crowd of other students. He had sent his parents off to the train station telling them he wanted to stay at the venue to see Chanyeol off too. 

 

Chanyeol runs up and captures him in a hug then lifts him up and spins them around making Baekhyun squeal and laugh. He can't keep a sad face when Chanyeol is like this.

 

“We did it Baek! We're finally free from late nights staring at screens and early mornings dragging ourselves to class half past dead. Aren't you glad it's all over?”

 

Baekhyun beams at Chanyeol, “Yes, I'm glad we did it together like we planned to. I don't think I could've survived SNU without you, seriously.”

 

“I'm happy you said that, because I don't think you could've either.” Chanyeol dodges Baekhyun's slap to the arm but not the slap to the head.

 

“Chanyeol.” Baekhyun just sighs and looks at his friend.

 

“You're pouting. Don't pout, you'll get frown lines and look like your dad.” Chanyeol always knows how to pull a smile out of him. “I'm gonna make sure I come back to Seoul as often as possible.”

 

“Don't worry about me, I just want you to be happy. Go do everything you want to do.” Baekhyun hugs him again. “Call me when you get home, say hi to Toben for me.”

 

“Might say hi to Mongryong for you too, poor thing is basically abandoned at this point.” Chanyeol grins.

 

Baekhyun swats at his arm again. “Get going while you still can, you're on this ice Park.”

 

“Okay, okay. I’m going.” Chanyeol holds his arm and pretends to be injured. “I'll send a photo of me kissing your furry son.”

 

“I look forward to it.” Baekhyun watches Chanyeol get into the car where his parents are waiting for him and keeps watching until he doesn't have sight of the car anymore.

 

“Baekhyun.” He turns around and sees Kyungsoo and Jongin hand in hand, coming out of the auditorium building. “Did Chanyeol leave already?”

 

“Yeah.” Baekhyun smiles sadly.

 

“Oh, Baekhyun, Im-” Kyungsoo starts to say.

 

“No, it's okay. I've made peace with it. It's for the best so I'm just going to try and move on, okay? I might need help from you guys though because let's face it, I spent most of my life thinking about this.”

 

“Of course, we'll always be here for you, both of you.” Kyungsoo says, “I'm proud of you, Baekhyun.”

 

“Thank you.” 

 

~

 

The first few weeks without Chanyeol aren't as hard as Baekhyun thought they would be. He had expected to be sad about it every second of the day but he simply can't find the time to be with Kyungsoo dragging him everywhere to do everything. 

 

He's been to the tour of Kyungsoo’s new workplace, been apartment hunting with him and been to every homeware store in Seoul by now. Kyungsoo definitely took his request seriously. 

 

Baekhyun hasn't had to think for himself since graduation. He knows that until his internship starts, everything will be okay.

 

But, as he knows all too well, all great things must come to an end.

 

~

 

It's an ordinary Saturday, at least it starts out as one. Kyungsoo is planning to meet up with an interior designer so he's decided that Baekhyun definitely has to come along for the moral support needed to pick out fabric swatches. Baekhyun agrees because he's actually been enjoying all the home planning they've been doing. Having no financial limit since Kyungsoo’s dad always foots the bill makes their experiences stress free. He happily reports to Kyungsoo’s family home that morning for best friend duty.

 

He's in the middle of finishing a slice of toast, nothing wild, just some butter and strawberry jam, when he feels the tiny bit of food he ate needing to come back up, immediately. He bolts upright, alarming Kyungsoo who's sitting next to him at the kitchen island, and high tails it to the nearest bathroom. 

 

He almost doesn't make it, thanks to Kyungsoo’s parents having so much square footage, but luckily he does.

 

He washes his mouth out in the sink and is grateful that Kyungsoo is the only one that was there to witness that embarrassing moment.

 

When he cracks open the door the first thing he sees is his best friend’s concerned face staring back. 

 

“Are you alright? That was weird.” 

 

“Uh…” Baekhyun shrugs, “It must've just disagreed with my stomach for whatever reason.”

 

Kyungsoo gets that wrinkle in his forehead that he gets when something just isn't adding up in his super calculative mind. “You eat that a couple times a week. Why now?”

 

“I don't know. I wish I did know so I could fix it. It's probably just food poisoning though, it should go away on its own.” Baekhyun reasons out.

 

Kyungsoo is just silent for a moment and looks him up and down subtly, “Well, our appointment is at 9 so we should get moving, if you're feeling okay.” He finally says.

 

Baekhyun feels like he just got away with something although he really doesn't know why he was sick.

 

“Yes, I'm good to go.” He smiles.

 

They get the appointment over with and then Kyungsoo decides they've both earned an ice cream and glass of champagne at his favorite brunch spot. They're celebrating the fact that they're done decorating...for now. Kyungsoo can finally move in once the last pieces of furniture are delivered next week.

 

All is well. That is until Baekhyun finishes his champagne and the ice cream comes out. He's ordered mint chocolate chip, his go to flavor, and dives in with the desert spoon straight away. As soon as the cold treat touches his tongue he feels his body rejecting it. The same feeling from the morning takes over and he's excusing himself from the table. 

 

It isn't pretty. He pukes again, this time is worse with the added sting of alcohol. He looks at his reflection and notices he's gone pale. 

 

When he comes back to the table Kyungsoo isn't wearing the same expression as earlier. This one is worse, like now he isn't confused anymore, like now he knows what the problem is.

 

“I don't,” Kyungsoo pauses and then starts again. “I don't want to scare you or make you stressed unnecessarily.” Baekhyun is instantly stressed by the statement. “But I do feel obligated, as your best friend, to tell you that I think I know what's got you so sick.”

 

Baekhyun chews on his bottom lip, “Do you?” 

 

“The only other time i've seen someone emptying their stomach like this is when Seungsoo’s wife stayed with us at our summer home three years ago.” Kyungsoo seems to think this will spark something but obviously it doesn't. “Baekhyun, how old is my nephew?”

 

Kyungsoo’s nephew that he adored and always went on and on about. Of course Baekhyun knows that he's three years old. 

 

Oh.

 

Baekhyun feels his heart rate pick up. “You're not saying that I…” He was always good at being in denial. “That's not what it is.”

 

“How do you know?” He doesn't. “I want you to take a test, let's go back home.” Kyungsoo’s word is final. They pay and then leave. 

 

Back at his parents house Kyungsoo has the housekeeper pick up the test on her way in for her shift. Baekhyun is so glad he didn't have to go get it himself. Kyungsoo hands him the box and it feels like he's now holding a stick of dynamite, ready to blow up his entire world.

 

He refuses to even think about any possibility of anything before he takes it. He'll just take it to appease Kyungsoo, it'll be negative, and they'll go on about the day. It can't be positive.

 

He takes the test out to Kyungsoo while they wait for the result so he doesn't have to see it alone. It only takes about three minutes but it feels like an eternity. And when the timer is up he makes Kyungsoo look because he can't.

 

“Baek.” Kyungsoo wears a pitiful look. “What do you want to do? I support whatever you choose.”

 

It's positive. Baekhyun wanted to be stronger but he does end up crying. Of course this would happen to him. The result of a one night stand he wasn't supposed to have with his best friend who he wasn't supposed to be in love with.

 

He already knows he wants the baby. He already knows it will grow into the most beautiful child, a creation between him and the man he loves. It's probably the greatest gift he could ever be given.

 

And he's so selfish for wanting to keep it but he tells himself that he'll make sure not to inconvenience Chanyeol with the knowledge of its existence. He doesn't have to know the baby exists and Baekhyun doesn't plan on telling him.

 

Chanyeol has a good future ahead of himself without Baekhyun and this baby in the picture. He's not going to ruin it.

 

Baekhyun wipes his tears sloppily. “I want to have the baby. And I might need your help with some things because I have no idea what I'm doing but I promise not to be a burden on you. And I'm probably a big disappointment to you with how I kept you up some nights with my assignments and other stuff just for me to ruin my future like this but-”

 

“Baekhyun, that's nonsense,” He scolds. “I'm proud of you.” Kyungsoo whispers and holds him closely, like he's so delicate he needs to be handled with extra care.

 

Baekhyun sniffles. “You always say that, no matter what I do.”

 

“That's because no matter what you do, I'll always be proud of you.”

 

“I don't deserve you, I don't know what I would do without you.”

 

“You deserve everything, Baekhyun. And don't worry because you'll never have to be without me, I'll always have your back.”

 

Baekhyun hugs him even tighter. “I love you, Kyungsoo.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

~

 

It turns out that he hasn't actually ruined his future the way he thought he did. Kyungsoo finally gets everything settled in his new penthouse and invites Baekhyun to move in. He disagrees but of course Kyungsoo insists, even gets Jongin to agree that it's a good idea. He eventually gives in. He doesn't have to worry about anywhere to live. Kyungsoo also seems to want Baekhyun to have no financial worries whatsoever. He lets Baekhyun know, every so often, that anything he needs can be taken care of. 

 

Baekhyun's not opposed to accepting the help but he's always not going to lay around like a helpless soul. He's still able to do his internship as Kyungsoo was finally able to convince him when he wanted to quit and just find something else more suitable for a pregnant person. Kyungsoo had his mother call in to the company’s president to let them know about his condition and let them know that Baekhyun would be needing a leave of absence when it came time for the baby to be born. No new hire would ever be granted a leave of absence but Baekhyun had found out that Kyungsoo’s family has friends everywhere.

 

It's only been a couple of weeks since they found out and Baekhyun thinks he's starting to show. In the morning after a shower he always runs his fingers over the virtually nonexistent bump. He's happy. He can honestly say that after the drama that led up to this point. He's living with his best friend, he's pursuing his career, he's expecting a baby, and the other father of his child is able to pursue his career and whatever else he wants. It's the ideal scenario.

 

One Sunday afternoon he and Kyungsoo are lazing about on the sofa, watching a historical drama, when Baekhyun asks what he's been wanting to for a while.

 

“Soo?”

 

“Hmm?” Kyungsoo pops a tangerine slice into his mouth.

 

“How come you've never asked?” Baekhyun wonders what he'll say.

 

“Oh, about the baby.” He realizes what Baekhyun means, “Well I didn't have to. I don't know all the details, and I'm sure you'll tell me when you're ready, but there's no way that it's anyone else. He's always been the love of your life. And how you immediately knew you wanted to have the baby, of course it's Chanyeol's.”

 

Baekhyun blushes. He's definitely right about all of that.

 

~

 

It's the next Friday when they get a text from Jongin saying that he broke his phone but after he gets it fixed they should all meet up and have a picnic. It's a spot where they often had picnics or just went to hang out away from other people near their old dorms. Baekhyun is definitely up for a bit of nostalgia. Chanyeol used to be with them on those trips too and it'll be nice to be back there again simply for that reason.

 

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo get there before Jongin and have to wait around a bit until he shows up.

 

“Hey” He's still in his white shirt and slacks like he hadn't actually planned on a picnic until the very last minute. He also doesn't have anything on hand either. They're all just standing under a tree looking a bit unprepared. 

 

Jongin gives Kyungsoo a peck on the lips and they hug then he gives Baekhyun a hug too. “I actually feel a bit of a tummy on our skinny little Baekhyun here.” He says after he lets go. “I still can't believe you're having Chanyeol's kid, I didn't think he had it in him.”

 

“Funny but why did you invite us to a picnic with no food, Baekhyun is starving.” Kyungsoo scolds him.

 

“What? You invited me here, you said your phone broke and you texted from a different number.” Jongin says.

 

“Actually, I wanted to surprise you guys,” Chanyeol steps out from behind the tree, addressing everyone but only looking at Baekhyun. “Looks like I'm the one being surprised instead.”

 

Kyungsoo and Jongin don't say anything, they walk away to give them their privacy.

 

Baekhyun feels frozen. And it’s not just the sensation of stillness that's got him rooted to the very spot he stands in. It's also the sensation of cold, hard dread that begins to bloom in the pit if his stomach, in his very core, like the most poisonous flower. The way that Chanyeol is looking so completely broken in this moment. The fact that Baekhyun is the cause, he knows he’s to blame here.

 

The way he's looking at Baekhyun as if waiting for him to say that it's not  _ that _ , isn't what he thinks. Isn't what he fears. He so clearly fears it, Baekhyun knows that look. It's the same look that Chanyeol wore when he confided in Baekhyun that summer years ago, when he knew his parents would divorce. He's in denial and Baekhyun can't really blame him. He’d gone through a similar set of emotions when he found out about it.

 

“Baekhyun.” It's barely above a whisper. Baekhyun waits, he knows Chanyeol will find his words eventually, he’s not one to be made speechless. “I'm- I’m so sorry.” Chanyeol shakes his head, remorse gripping him. This is all so very wrong. This isn’t the way Chanyeol was meant to react.

 

Baekhyun is confused yet he's still unable to move or speak. He's simply a spectator to the entire situation even though he plays the key part. He can't find the strength to ask what Chanyeol means, then Chanyeol elaborates.

 

“What did I do to you? How could I do this? I don't remember even...Baek, how did this happen?” Chanyeol is an absolute mess, blaming himself. 

 

Baekhyun finally finds the will to respond. He can't let Chanyeol beat himself up and feel guilty for something that he took equal part in.

 

“It was...we were talking all night, the way we usually do, at that party. I wanted to tell you something, I don't know if I did or not. That's all I remember before I woke up next to you. It dawned in me then that we were both drunk and it was a mistake. I left so you wouldn't feel burdened or feel like you had to explain yourself.”

 

“What did you want to tell me?” Chanyeol deserves to know at least this, and his reaction is proof that it won't really change anything. It's time for Baekhyun to stop hiding.

 

“I know this will come as a shock to you, and I'm sure you're shocked enough as it is, but that night I wanted to tell you that I’m in love with you.” There, it's all out in the open now and Chanyeol can decide how harshly to react to Baekhyun's deceptive ways.

 

“Baekhyun, one of the only things I do remember about that night is that I told you I loved you. I remember and I meant it.” Chanyeol surprises him with his response. “I love you so much but I didn't think you felt the same. After you started avoiding me I figured you were trying to distance yourself because of my confession. I never imagined it could've been because of this.” Chanyeol gestures to his belly.

 

“I- I don't remember that at all. If I had known I would've told you about what happened that night. I'm so sorry, Chanyeol. I just didn't want to drag you down with all this extra baggage.” Baekhyun feels like a complete idiot.

 

But their problems don't just disappear because they love each other. Unfortunately, love isn't all that matters. There's still the issue of his pregnancy. It can't be all sunshine and rainbows from here on out, Baekhyun knows this.

 

“And what do we do now?” He feels lost and he doesn't mean to put anymore pressure on Chanyeol but he needs his input on what they should be planning for the future. Because even if Chanyeol is upset about the baby, Baekhyun thinks he may want to have some input.

 

Chanyeol pulls him into his arms, flush against his chest. Baekhyun is caught off guard at first but then he let's his eyes flutter shut and he takes in a deep breath of the citrus and jasmine notes of his cologne. He wants to break down, finally, properly, and he does. He cries into Chanyeol’s chest, clutching onto the back of his jacket. This reminds him of that hug before Chanyeol left, this is what he had really wanted to do at the time. It had all been held in until now.

 

Chanyeol, not missing a beat, pets his head and shushes his sobs. “Shh, please don't be upset. I want us to have a real future together, I want to marry you, Baekhyun. We-” 

 

“What?” Baekhyun pulls out of the hug, face red and eyes puffy. “No.”, he exclaims.

 

“No?” Chanyeol is absolutely dumbfounded. He obviously doesn't understand how Baekhyun can say no to that, especially given their current circumstances. “What do you mean no? You said you loved me too, we’re going to have a child together.”

 

“That’s why I can’t let you do that, I’ve already taken enough from you.” Baekhyun is simply trying to do the right thing after all the trouble he’s gotten them into. 

 

Chanyeol looks him in the eyes, holding his gaze there. “I don’t know what you mean by that but from now on I need you to trust me, okay. I need you to let go of whatever preconceived notions you had about what I was going to feel about this pregnancy. I’m happy, Baekhyun, I really am. I was shocked and, in all honesty, hurt that you kept it from me. But I'm happy about it. I'm not lying, you’d know if I was anyway.” He smiles and melts Baekhyun with the simple gesture.

 

“You are a lousy liar.” Baekhyun chokes out a giggle through his tears.

 

“Yes, I am. But I want to be a good father. Will you let me start by doing this the proper way? You and the baby would never be a burden to me, Baekhyun. As corny as it sounds, having a family with you is all I ever wanted since I first saw you. We may have skipped some steps but I want to make sure everyone knows you and that baby are mine. Will you let me do that?” Chanyeol takes Baekhyun’s hand up to his lips and places a gentle kiss on the back of it.

 

Baekhyun has what he thinks is right. But of course, Chanyeol has always been a stand up guy and he wants to do the right thing too.

 

“Yes.” Baekhyun nods, “I want to start a family with you too.”

 

“And be with me forever?” Chanyeol kisses him and it dawns on Baekhyun that this is their first real kiss, the only one they both remember.

 

Baekhyun smiles the brightest he has in weeks. “If I can have more of those, then yes, forever.”


End file.
